Sunday, May 6, 2007


As I watched the twin towers tumble to the ground on 9/11, I couldn’t help but think how much my own life mirrored this devastation. Less than a month prior, I too was struck by tremendous violence, born of hatred for who I was, robbed of my sense of innocence and security, and left bloodied and sifting through the rubble on the ground. My planes were two angry young men, no doubt troubled by their own feelings, perhaps for one another, who went looking for a victim on this dark and windy summer night.

I was choking on blood face down on the ground before I even realized what was happening to me. As I struggled to crawl to my feet, I was greeted by thunderous kicks to my ribs and my temple and the venomous and inconceivable cry, “die fucking faggot.” Here in Palm Springs, alone and without warning I was being gay bashed. Two strangers filled with hatred, and clear intent, were trying to end my life simply because of who I am. As I began to realize that my life could end here in this rocky, abandoned lot where they had dragged me from my car, my survival instict surged from the very core of my being. I began to fight back, take swings, kick, scream. I threw rocks. I grabbed a pipe on the ground and brandished it as a weapon. I'm quite certain that my animalistic rage and the sheer volume of my screams surprised them. Eventually, they slunk back into the night from which they came.

Unlike Matthew Sheppard and countless others, I survived to tell my story. Crumpled in a heap with my clothes ripped and my nose flattened to my face, I survived to face police, firemen, and E.M.Ts who approached me with distance and distain, suggesting with their tone and indifference that I had somehow brought this upon myself. Their homophobia was as palpable as the blood and dirt that stained my teeth. This realization was almost more painful to endure than the beating itself. Feeling helpless, but proud, I drove myself to the emergency room that night.

Today, almost six years later, I am angry, and I am sad. I thought I had put this behind me, with years of therapy, wanderlust and sometimes self-destructive revelry, not necessarily in that order. I am angry at my country and its leaders for not upholding and propagating the founding principle of this land, that all men are created equal. I am angry with the vast numbers of supposed Christians who lead with hatred and fear, rather than the beauty and simplicity of Christ’s message to, above all else, love your fellow man, without judgment. I am angry at our President who, as a Christian and our leader, consistently marginalizes and undermines gay Americans. Lastly, I am saddened by the American people who allow this all to be, with complacency and indifference.

In recent years we have rightfully passed laws in this country which seek to protect minorities from being persecuted, harmed and victimized simply for who they are. We protect women, people of color, people who believe differently than ourselves, and those who are disabled. We assign stiff punishment and harsh sentences to the perpetrators of these crimes. In doing so, we take a stand, collectively as a nation to say, unequivocally, we do not tolerate the transformation of hatred into violence and persecution, period. That is, unless you happen to be born gay.

On Wednesday, May 3rd our country took a step in the right direction when the House of Representatives passed the Matthew Shepard Act, also known as the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2007 (LLEHCPA). Although this is the first major step to passing inclusive hate crimes legislation in response to the unrelenting and under-addressed problem of hates crimes against individuals based on sexual orientation, gender, gender identity and disability, we have a long way to go to ensure this legislation becomes law. Over the last few weeks, this bill has been threatened by misinformation and lies spread by anti-gay organizations trying to block the passage of the bill. President Bush has already promised a veto if it passes the Senate, which is by no means a sure thing.

My goal in writing this, and in creating this blog, is to put another face to this blight on our national consciousness. I want to inspire others to share their stories and photographs, to build an online community of survivors, and those whose lives were taken in hatred. I want to incite more visibility, media coverage and debate on what should be national goals of inclusion, tolerance, love and acceptance. If you believe in these ideals and want to live in a country which espouses them, please send this to everyone you know and encourage them to do the same. Sadly, there are thousands of new victims every year. I want to find them and include them on this page. Hopefully we can change some hearts and minds, and perhaps save some lives.



Wes said...


I hadn't heard this story. Thank you for your courage in making it public. I don't know if I would be brave enough to post a photo like that online if something had happened to me.

I'm proud to live in a state (Washington) where sexual orientation is on the hate-crimes list, and I am proud of all my gay friends for standing up in a world that seeks to silence them.

Let's all remember that politics matters. If your representatives aren't on board with this legislation, get in touch with them now.

When 2008 finally arrives, we all have a responsibility to elect an administration and a Congress that will advance the cause of equality. It's time to leave cynicism behind and move this nation forward for the sake of our friends.


Jonathan said...

Somehow I got myself on Lou Sheldon's mailing list, so now I get almost daily updates on how the religious right thinks and acts. Here is one from last week on this very subject. It's aggravating reading, but important to know. (Also, please note that Republican Rep. Mary Bono, whose district includes Palm Springs, voted in favor of the bill. I wrote a quick note of thanks.)

Sheldon's email:

The so-called Hate Crimes Bill, HR 1592, just passed the House – 237 to 180 with 25 Republicans voting for it and 14 Democrats voting against it. Can you imagine that the Democrats actually scheduled the vote on the National Day of Prayer? What a slap in the face of Christians. The very day we acknowledge the importance of prayer in our nation, Congress votes to silence pastors and other people of faith.

Rev. Lou Sheldon and Andrea Lafferty were the only group out on the steps of the U.S. Capitol today lobbying Members of Congress on their way in to vote. We are happy to report that a number of Traditional Values Coalition’s targeted Members of Congress either changed their vote or voted correctly.

Rev. Lou and Andrea want to thank everyone who called, emailed or wrote their representative. Obviously, it had an effect. One Congressman who Traditional Values Coalition had targeted told Rev. Lou that he had heard enough from constituents and essentially asked Rev. Lou to call off the dogs.

Traditional Values Coalition Executive Director Andrea Lafferty issued the following statement on passage of H.R. 1592, a so-called hate crimes bill by Congress this afternoon:

Your donations are urgently needed as the fight moves to the Senate and we take on Senator Ted Kennedy, author of the Senate bill.

We must do this all over again.

Please Pledge Your Support!
“A majority of the Members of the House of Representatives have slapped Christians in the face with passage of H.R. 1592. Though allegedly designed to help local law enforcement officials deal with violent hate crimes, this legislation actually creates two new federally-protected minority groups: “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” – both of which are undefined by the law.

“This legislation strikes at the heart of free speech and freedom of religious expression. Why? Because statements critical of sexual orientation or gender identity can be prosecuted – if those statements were part of the motivation of a person committing a crime against a homosexual or cross-dresser.

Pastor’s sermons can be considered hate speech under this bill.”
“If a pastor, for example, speaks out against homosexuality and a church member commits a violent crime against a homosexual, the pastor’s sermon can be considered as an inducement to the crime! Pastor’s sermons can be considered hate speech under this bill.”

BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, that President Bush has just issued a statement through the Office of Management and Budget that he will VETO the so-called hate crimes bill if it comes to his desk. We applaud the President for his courage.

The statement read: “… the Administration believes that H.R. 1592 is unnecessary and constitutionally questionable. If H.R. 1592 were presented to the President, his senior advisors would recommend that he veto the bill.

Today, while Andrea was lobbying at the Capitol she saw Josh Bolton, President Bush’s chief of staff. As he left the Capitol she personally thanked him for the President’s veto message.

The Senate is expected to move quickly...

Contact with Senators must begin immediately!

Write Them and Tell Them VOTE NO on Hate Crimes Bill

The Senate is expected to move quickly on its so-called hate crime bill--- S. 1105, the Matthew Shepard Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2007'. It is possible there could be a hearing this month. Contact with Senators must begin immediately:

Your donations are urgently needed as the fight moves to the Senate and we take on Senator Ted Kennedy, author of the Senate bill. We must do this all over again. Thanks so much for the financial help you sent for HR 1592.

Regrettably, Matthew’s Shepard’s mother has attacked TVC for “spreading misinformation” and “misleading and manipulating its members to make these phone calls to Congress” Judy Shepard credits TVC with generating significant opposition to H.R. 1592.

We are truly sorry for Judy Shepard’s loss. There is no question that her son Matthew was brutally murdered. Her case is a perfect example of how hate crime laws are unnecessary. The two men who brutally murdered her son will never in their life see this side of a prison cell.

Mrs. Shepard may not remember it but Rev. Sheldon attended the trial of her son’s murderers in Wyoming on purpose to prevent trouble and stood up to an extremist who claims to be a minister who waved signs showing her son in Hell.

Contact Republicans who voted for HR 1592 and nicely tell them you are disappointed:

Judy Biggert (IL)
Mary Bono (CA)
Michael Castle (DE)
Charles Dent (PA)
Lincoln Diaz-Balart (FL)
Mario Dias-Balart (FL)
Philip English (PA)
Michael Ferguson (NJ)
Rodney Frelinghuysen (NJ)
Jim Gerlach (PA)
Wayne Gilchrest (MD)
Mark Kirk(IL)
Randy Kuhl (NY)
Ray LaHood (IL)
Frank LoBiondo (NJ)
Jim McCrery (LA)
Todd Platts (PA)
Jon Porter(NV)
Deborah Pryce (OH)
Dave Reichert (WA)
Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (FL)
Jim Saxton (NJ)
Chris Shays (CT)
Greg Walden (OR)
James Walsh(NY)

Contact Democrats who voted with us in opposition to HR 1592 and thank them:

Marion Berry (AR)
Dan Boren (OK)
Christopher Carney (PA)
Robert Cramer (AL)
Lincoln Davis (TN)
Joe Donnelly (IN)
Brad Ellsworth (IN)
Bart Gordon(TN)
Mike McIntyre (NC)
Charlie Melancon (LA)
Collin Peterson (MN)
Mike Ross (AR)
Heath Shuler (NC)
Gene Taylor (MS)

Lisa Croll Di Dio said...


I have heard this story before, and I applaud your courage in sharing it and the photo in an effort to make a change in our increasingly scary world.

I'm a straight married woman and I've been blessedly safe thus far in my life, but I take nothing for granted. I'm in a religious minority - pagan and proud of it - so I share your frustrations with the constant derailing of our constitutionally guaranteed rights.

I believe that every consenting adult has the right to make choices about his/her religious beliefs, sexual practices and family structure, and I believe those rights are constitutionally protected. Let's do whatever we can to keep them that way and to make the world a safer place to live and love. Keep voting and keep speaking - or writing - out.


lynne said...

Thank you for sharing your story Chris. It takes courage and I suppose some anger to motivate coming out like this. I'm a straight woman from Toronto, Canada. I'm often proud of my country's decision to pass laws protecting the rights of all. However, I must admit that there is still a lot of prejudice out there. Here it is not politically correct to voice it in most situations but it still happens. We need more brave persons like yourself to talk about what happens when hate is encouraged or not discouraged.

Scott said...

Chris: Thanks for sharing this important story. I admire your courage and appreciate your passion. I'll pass along to my contacts and ask that everyone else please, please do the same.


Howard Fradkin said...

Chris: Thanks for your courage also in sharing your story. I just read a summary of hate crimes here in Ohio, where we rank #3 in the nation. This hate crimes legislation is absolutely necessary. It is outrageous that people like you have no protection, and then have to suffer repeatedly from police, our justice system, and our legislatures and leaders.
Howard Fradkin, Ph.D., Psychologist

hello, my name is danny. said...

hi chris,

i really wanted to help support your efforts. i, myself, have never been victimized so i can only empathize.

anyway, i posted your blog link on my blog at it's a queer created blog site so i hope it helps get the word out. i am also posting your site to my blogs here on blogger.

good luck with this endeavor.

be well! said...

I too was gay bashed in 1989 in NYC. I didn't call the police. I admire your courage.

Anonymous said...

This is a great idea to help spread information about stuff that many of still can't talk (or write) about. Thank you. I hope one day the world quits turning the other cheek to people who are victims of hate crimes.

Kevin said...


I have never been bashed anywhere near to the extent that you were, however I am sure that there are many of us who can recall being teased, punched, kicked etc., in school just for being "different".

Although it has been over 30 years, now at age 48, I can still vividly recall the hate that was spewed by fellow classmates from elementary school and throughout my high school years. I honestly cannot recall a day that went by where I wasn't called a faggot and made to feel as if I was less than human. Fear of continued ostracism and possible violence, are some of the reasons why I and others like me, who experienced hate on a daily basis have chosen not to come out. We feel that we are safe in our closets, and yearn for the day where we can proudly proclaim that we are gay without fear of violent repercussions.

I attended High School in the early to mid 70's and back then there was absolutely no where we could turn for support. In many cases, we were not only emotionally and physically hurt by our peers, but those in authority either turned a blind eye of blamed us for the hateful actions of others. There were no such things as GSA's or other support groups and in many states you were a criminal just for being gay.

However, by reading your story and the courageous route that you have undertaken, gives many men like myself, through our shared stories, that glimmer of hope that someday we can hold our heads up high. I firmly believe that our battle will be won by EDUCATING those around us that being gay is NOT a choice and the we all share the same basic human needs and that is to be loved and accepted for who we are and not what we are.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your continued courage and strength. I hope that your experience will inspire us all to find the courage to fight for the justice and dignity all humans deserve!

queertardo said...

Your story is important as are all the stories- we need to tell them in order to end the violence against us and heal ourselves of the affects it causes. Thank you for your bravery, honesty and message.

ChaCha said...


Thank you so much for your strength!!! Your voice, as well as other's, need to be heard often. I will be linking your site to my own for continued awareness.

Aaron C. Yeagle said...

I applaud you for for expressing yourself so eloquently and emotionally. Creating a blog not only helps you buy the dozens - even hundreds - who will read this.

In the mid-80's I was at the forefront of activism fighting against human/gay rights abuses, fighting for funds for AIDS victims, and struggling to bring awareness to the hetero community.

It astounds me how little things have changed despite tremendous efforts. People still FEAR what they do not KNOW. Those in POWER still spend more time and energy on protecting themselves and their position than they do on the issues they were elected to resolve.

One motto we constantly shouted still holds true today:


Thank you for being you and sharing you!

DylanMitchell said...


I want to thank you for your bravery in sharing your story. I also was bashed by several straight dudes, and still have nightmares about the event. Plus I understand the "shame" of having people that really should know better--blaming the victim. What a crazy world we live in. Anyway, I learned of your story from Danny (at And was inspired to share my own story. Drop by sometime: I think you will like all the support and freedom you will find among your own. I wish you much joy and a happy future.


Kevin said...

I know that I already posted a comment yesterday, but I forgot to add that I have added you to my "blogroll" at my site.

I feel that your voice (as well as all those who have also been bashed and discriminated against) should be spread as widely around as possible.

I hope that everyone who reads this blog also adds you to their lists.

Thanks again for your work and hopefully all will answer to your "Call for Action!!)

Anonymous said...
Not sure if the Ryan Skipper website is up and running yet.
I'll check back.

Aaron said...

Thank you so much for your work! It is people quietly toiling in the background, relentlessly, who end up making the biggest difference. Your energy is saving lives and helping relieve the pain we feel. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Anonymous said...

Nice blog! (found via BlogActive)

cowboyneok said...

As a victim of a gay hate crime here in Oklahoma, I want to thank you for your blog, and courage.

I've blogrolled you over at our blog:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your story and blog. When I was in my early twenties, 1980's, before AIDS existed and I lived in the "Gay Mecca" San Francisco I was attacked and beaten a number of times and it is still with me today. I remember writing notes to my attackers on pieces of paper and going back to the places I got jumped just because I had to do SOMEthing.. anything. The last thing I wanted was to be somebody's victim, and I survived because that instinct you describe took hold of me.

Anonymous said...

Dear Chris,

Having stumbled across your blog on the internet,we felt drawn to contact you.
Thanks for sharing your story, for by doing so, you have helped others to understand the fundamental truism that we are all one.
We may be physically different,but we are all one because we come from the same source.
We must continue to tell ourselves the truth of what we are, and not what we think we are.

Today you can let go of that anger, because you can forgive others as they would forgive you, for we are one.
keep sharing, keep teaching the truth.

We send you all the love in the universe and know that you are unbeatable, for you are us.


antonyh said...

I just posted an entry about your blog at You are doing important work.

James said...

Thank you for sharing this Chris. I felt at first fear, then deep sadness, and then anger as I read about what happened to you. It's frightening and sickening that such backward people still exist, and that as you say, the apathetic majority continue to permit them their prejudices and the reprehensible behaviour that results. I'm very glad you're okay, and survived to tell the tale.

Here in the UK we're getting there too, with the advent of civil partnerships (gay marriage in all but name) and since April 2007, we find ourselves in the unprecedented situation of having legal equality for the first time. Of course, the law aside, it'll take that much longer to overcome the remaining reticence in social attidudes - gay hate crime and homophobia in schools in particular are still massive problems.

It's so sad that some people's default setting seems to be 'hate' instead of 'love'. It's all so pointless. We're here for such a short time - why spend that time spreading unhappiness? Stupid, primitive people.

Ruben said...

Thanks for speaking out and exposing our fallibilities as a supposed free society. People need to start waking the fuck up! I'll keep trying to do my part by teaching young people about tolerance. We gotta get to them before some of their bad habits and inaccurate perceptions gel. Peace.

WeAreAllOne.Tv said...

Thank you for sharing your story with all of mankind.

I am inspired by your actions in light of your suffering. Truly you are a noble soul.

Thank you again for your courage and honesty.

Best wishes

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Anonymous said...

According to one of the uploaders the following changes have been made to build 7227

1. Changes in the mechanism for displaying thumbnails in the taskbar.

2. Pop-Up lists for the panel

3. Pop-Up lists for Remote Desktop

4. Applying the settings of the taskbar

5. Multitouch zoom

6. Invert selection

7. You can search for music by artist

8. View the contents of the search results

9. Intelligent indexing after installation

10. Reducing the length of playback sounds system

11. Changes in the panel Devices and Printers

12. Changes in the mechanism of extraction devices

13. Support for FireWire-cameras

14. Reduction in section in system

15. Improved driver support

16. Reducing the paging file

17. Assigning a letter to boot with two OS loaded

18. Naming the section reserved for the system.

There are rumors out there that this build could be fake and that build 7230 will be leaked tomorrow evening.
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Anonymous said...

Ola, what's up amigos? :)
Hope to receive any help from you if I will have some quesitons.
Thanks in advance and good luck! :)

Anonymous said...

New here,

I'm just browsing sites for the kids of Haiti.

I'm here for a non-profit group that devotes themselves to
building oppurtunities for the kids in haiti. If anyone here wants to give money then this is the site:

[url=]Donate to Haiti[/url] or Help Haiti

They provide kids in Haiti a positive outlook through education.

Please check them out, they are legitimate.

Anything would be appreciated

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